Dealing With Writing Insecurity

This topic has been weighing on me for a while now. I try to keep my posts relatively upbeat – even when I’m wrangling with my story — but now that I’ve finished my latest draft, I finally have the energy to tackle this subject.

So, so, so… I noticed while I was working on my latest draft that I’ve been disengaging with the writing and reading communities. It didn’t just happen recently either. It’s been happening since I embarked on writing my novel, and I just wasn’t overtly aware of my reactions until now. I find it such an counter-intuitive behaviour, considering the number of times I complained about how isolating writing is.

Read More »

Skipping Regular New-Year Blog Posts

I went over to Goodreads to capture my 2018 book summary, and I was in the process of cropping it up, when I realized I didn’t want to do Leng’s Book Awards this year. I had half a mind to retire the entire thing, but I figure I take a less drastic action and just skip it for now. I don’t exactly know why I don’t feel like doing it. Maybe because I’m still so hung up on the last series I read that I feel like most of the awards might just go to Lockwood and co. I also looked at the awards I’ve been giving out, and I just feel very ‘meh’ about them. Maybe in the future if I decide to revive this annual thing, I will come up with better fake awards.

In general, I’ve also been rethinking book blogging and reviews lately. I think when I started embarking on my own writing project, my view on books reviews changed. I used to be very open about my opinions on books, especially the ones that didn’t live up to my expectations (my old LJ used to be filled with book rants), but now I just don’t feel comfortable doing that anymore. It doesn’t feel like very good writer’s etiquette to talk about another book that way, and now that I’m undergoing the stress and difficulties of writing my own novel, I’ve gained a new appreciation for the efforts other authors put in their own works, even if I didn’t like them as a reader. I don’t know if any of you noticed, but I’ve gone back to my old posts and significantly pared down previous reviews. I don’t give star ratings anymore, and I try to keep my recent reviews short and sweet.

There’s also something weird about this upcoming new year. In that I don’t feel like it’s a new year. I feel like it’s just a continuation, and I don’t feel compelled to do anything drastic. 2018 was a tepidly good year for me, in that good things happened and some challenging things happened, but none of the highs are that high and none of the lows are that low. Which, I mean overall, is still a good thing, but it doesn’t prompt me to make resolutions or anything. When I’m feeling a bit more upbeat, I might make another post about what to expect from this blog in 2019.

Okie dokie, guess I’ll leave it at that. Happy New Year, everyone!