Writing Woes: Bored of My Own Characters

You know that saying, “How do you expect people to love you when you don’t love yourself?” Or I don’t know, something along those lines. I don’t remember it being quite so harsh, as I’m sure I’ve seen that saying on several get-well sites.

Well, that’s how I’m feeling about my own characters. I have talked about this before in this other post. Before that, I also mentioned being bored of my own story. I have taken a break from my story for several weeks, and I am now gearing up for next month’s Camp NaNoWriMo. I have dusted off my notes, and once again, refactored the plot. I spruced up the characters. I have read and reviewed three writing books.

Here’s the thing. I don’t think the problem is with the concept of my characters or the concept of my story. I think the problem is with me, the writer. Let me clarify what I mean about that. When I think of my story, I get very excited… but only if I am thinking about it from the point of view of a reader. The concept I have come up with is something I have wanted to read for a long, long time and the main reason I decided to write this story is because I am done waiting for the market to cater it to me. A lot of the plot points I constructed for my story are ones I would love to read about. Same with the characters; I created my characters to be, if not similar to the characters I love from other books, at least they possess qualities that I know I would like as a reader.

And this is the problem. I’m more interested in reading my story than I am in writing it.

The writing books don’t help at all in this regard. All of the writing books I’ve read try to instruct writers in how they can make their story enjoyable for their readers. However, none of them have any advice for how authors can enjoy writing their own stories. Is this just a problem I have?

Writing Woes: Somebody’s Getting Axed

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Well, I think I’m realizing more and more how isolating an endeavour writing can be. Considering how many times I’ve fallen into writing angst in the past several months, I think it’s safe to say that I’m far from the image of the highly energetic, happy-go-lucky writer that I imagined myself to be while working on a fun, light-hearted adventure story. Clearly, I’m not have as much fun as my characters, that’s for sure.

And it seems as if several of them won’t be having fun any longer either.

Continue reading “Writing Woes: Somebody’s Getting Axed”

Writing Woes: Killing Characters and Resurrection

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To kill or not to kill?

Okay, that sounds super creepy, I know. But I’m talking about writing stories, so *whew*, no worries about that.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a sucker for happy endings. There are many books, movies and shows I’ve refused to watch, because people told me that some major character would die, and that they would have sad endings. And here comes the dilemma. How do I balance my taste as a reader with the need that, as an author, I also want to write something meaningful and effective?

Okay, I want to unpack that a little bit, because it’s clear that I’m making some assumptions. I do believe that a story can still be powerful even though nobody dies. At least, nobody I like dies. I know that. I’ve read and seen many books or shows where that was true. For example, Spirited Away. (The MC does lose her memories though, and that’s another can of worms.)

However, at the same time, as a writer one of the most common advice I’ve seen is that you have to deal with the topic of death. So in a way, death still has to be present in your story. Death increases the stakes at risk in the conflict. Death, ironically, gets people thinking about life. I think one show/manga that handled this so effectively is Fullmetal Alchemist. There, people I cared about died. And it was to the beat of the most important lesson in the series: that you can’t gain anything without sacrificing something in return.

I’ve seen so many times from book or show reviews that people not dying cheapens the message of the story. On the other hand, I’ve also seen reviews were people were annoyed at certain character deaths, claiming they were for shock value.

In my story, I am hopping back and forth between killing a major character or not. The sap in me wants to keep her alive, but I’m afraid I would just be resorting to a cheap cop-out. On the other hand, if I kill her off, I get this bitter taste in my mouth, as if it doesn’t feel right. And I do get that whisper in my head, “Leng, maybe you’re just way too attached to this character! That’s why you don’t want to kill her when you really should!”

But should I, really? How do I know?

Personally, I would rather err on the side of the cheap, because I’m not a fan of just killing characters for the sake of the gasps. But I still want to know if in the process of sparing my character, am I actually undermining some of the messages in my story?

That brings me to the next point: resurrection. I could kill her, but in the spirit of my favourite childhood anime, Dragon Ball, I could bring her back to life. And no, I don’t mean I’m actually collecting all seven dragon balls. I could pull one of those twists where it seems like she died, but she didn’t. Or that she almost died but there’s a recourse that can save her.

I’ve been a member of multiple reading communities for many years, and apparently this twist is not a popular one. A lot of people hate it, and I’m going here, “Why?” Because I love it! (Come on, at least let’s admit that it’s a better trope than the love triangle, please?) To be clear, I love it in the context where one of my favourites die, of course. I couldn’t care less if someone I don’t like dies. However, here are some of the reasons why some people are not fond of this trope: a) they already grieved the character, and they feel cheated for having been forced to grieve when there was no point; and b) it’s usually pulled in a way when only one character gets a second chance, and thus elevates said character above any other who sacrificed their lives in the story.

I find a) surprising, because personally I don’t grieve a character until I’m absolutely sure there’s no chance of them coming back, and that usually means finishing the book or the series. (I was still half-convinced that Finnick would turn out to have lived at the end of Mockingjay, for example. And even then, I’ve constructed an AU of their world where Finnick actually lived, so there.) So I was actually surprised to find that readers begin grieving and burying their faves without reaching the end. But I guess we all handle death scenes differently.

And for b), I do actually agree with this. If I do end up bringing my character back to life (if I do end up deciding to kill her), it will be in such a way that she’s no more special than the others who got killed in the same way she did.

I haven’t formed any concrete opinions about this yet. I’m mostly leaning towards bringing her close to death then pulling her back, but we’ll see.

What do you guys think? Are these twists something you particularly like or hate? Or it depends on the story and how the twist is pulled off?

 

 

Writing Woes: A Lesson From My Fanfictions

Remember that post where I ranted about how boring I’m finding my story? Well… I’m just here to say that the feeling hasn’t improved that much. But at least it’s gotten to a tolerable point where I can write down words for the sake of writing down words. I’ve impulsively signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo — possibly, in a manner just as impulsive as I did when signing up for the real deal back in November. So I’m employing every ounce of motivation, organization, self-discipline, and self-tricking into keeping up with the daily word counts.

That said, it still feels like a chore.

Two nights ago, I stumbled across one of my old fanfictions, a draft that I never finished. And it shocked me. Because the writing was so rich and so exciting and so full of voice and character, that I wondered how I could possibly have written it.

Looking back at my fanfictions, I realized that my writing style — no matter what genre my fanfiction happened to fall into — was so much richer than the way I’m writing now. And it’s an incredible shame that I’m able to write so well for other people’s creation, and yet my skills balk when I try to write my own original content.

Then this morning, I think I finally realized what was causing the difference: When I was writing fanfiction, I knew — and cared about — the characters.

I tried to remember all the time in the past when I had a burning desire to write a fanfic. It was because I had a very clear idea of a situation, or a very clear feeling about a character, and I wanted to express it. I have liked many books and shows in the past, but why is it that I write only for a select few fandoms? I think it’s because in order for me to write, I need to first develop a clear characterization of the characters. I have to know what it feels like to be in their shoes. I need to see them existing in a particular situation.

And there definitely have been times when I wanted to write a funny skit, but it wouldn’t work out, because I just couldn’t see the characters in it. Not with the way I envisioned their personality.

I keep talking about past fanfictions, but keep failing to point out to any examples. So here are a few.

BEWARE: The following might contain excessive teen angst or weirdness, poor grammar and spelling, and cheesy lines.

Continue reading “Writing Woes: A Lesson From My Fanfictions”