Writing Woes: Bored of My Own Characters

You know that saying, “How do you expect people to love you when you don’t love yourself?” Or I don’t know, something along those lines. I don’t remember it being quite so harsh, as I’m sure I’ve seen that saying on several get-well sites.

Well, that’s how I’m feeling about my own characters. I have talked about this before in this other post. Before that, I also mentioned being bored of my own story. I have taken a break from my story for several weeks, and I am now gearing up for next month’s Camp NaNoWriMo. I have dusted off my notes, and once again, refactored the plot. I spruced up the characters. I have read and reviewed three writing books.

Here’s the thing. I don’t think the problem is with the concept of my characters or the concept of my story. I think the problem is with me, the writer. Let me clarify what I mean about that. When I think of my story, I get very excited… but only if I am thinking about it from the point of view of a reader. The concept I have come up with is something I have wanted to read for a long, long time and the main reason I decided to write this story is because I am done waiting for the market to cater it to me. A lot of the plot points I constructed for my story are ones I would love to read about. Same with the characters; I created my characters to be, if not similar to the characters I love from other books, at least they possess qualities that I know I would like as a reader.

And this is the problem. I’m more interested in reading my story than I am in writing it.

The writing books don’t help at all in this regard. All of the writing books I’ve read try to instruct writers in how they can make their story enjoyable for their readers. However, none of them have any advice for how authors can enjoy writing their own stories. Is this just a problem I have?

I’m Glad This Came Up

Behold this gem.

Someone at work brought this up during lunch, and I read it after my break. I’m more on the ML/Big Data side of things, but as an aspiring writer, I can very, very much attest to the frustrations of NLPers. I’m glad someone finally called out the academic trend of “over-selling” especially when it pertains to deep learning, which is a buzzword these days that receives a lot of hype.

I think the problem definitely starts in academia and the sense of competitiveness there, but I also wish  that tech journalism was better. I remember reading this paper on using neural networks to separate the content and style of a piece of artwork; some articles that responded to this were so excited that they even deemed human artists obsolete. Or perhaps it wasn’t excitement so much as fear of the impending AI apocalypse. *sigh* I just wish for a more honest, more grounded coverage of what’s going on in the computer science community instead of the super-hyped up things we currently get both from the media and educational institutions.

And you know what? I also wish for more coverage on failed experiments in general. It’s great to hear about what’s working, but how do we know about things that people have tried before and didn’t quite work out? Isn’t that as informative as the successes?

Writing Wins: Re-outlining

Wow, I realize that I’ve only ever had “Writing Woes” posts, where I talk about everything that goes wrong in my writing. I didn’t actually have a positive writing post until now, which is kind of sad now that I think about it.

Anyway, “win” is probably an overzealous word for what happened, but small wins are still wins in my book. Nothing dramatic happened, except that I managed to untangle the big hairy plot that I talked about in my previous Writing Woes post. Not only did I manage to do it, but I did it in 7 days. That’s… impressive by my standards, considering that I’ve been straining against this plot since the beginning of the year. Is it super-polished? Hah, no, I don’t think I’ll get to that stage until I’ve gone through 3 drafts at least. But the good news now is that I can move forward with my 1st draft without wanting to pull all my hair out.

I took a 3-week break from my story, and when re-outlining, I considered every plot point up for debate. And that worked out so well for me. When I considered that some of the determining plot points didn’t need to happen, or did not need to happen the way that I envisioned it would, it was much easier to tease out the tangles in the plot. I still lost a considerable number of characters, but I think it’s for the better. (Remember Nasi, the tarsier? I don’t know why I didn’t nuke him out of the story from the get-go. The poor animal had no speaking lines, had very little motivation, and didn’t contribute to the plot. But as attached as I had become to this useless character, I wound up giving him the pink slip as well.)

I believe there’s another Camp NaNoWriMo coming up in July, and I am going to try and finish the 1st draft then. I know it’s an ambitious goal, seeing it’s taken me 7 months to write the first half. But I think it’s also pretty telling that this children’s book is only halfway done at 70,000 words. I think I need to tell the story with much less words. Considering this is the first draft, I’ll resort to ‘telling’ rather than ‘showing’ if I need to move the plot along.

My hope is to be able to churn out a complete 2nd draft by the end of the year. It’s actually this goal that prompted me to re-outline my plot. My initial plan was to push through the first draft and figure out the changes to the plot as I go along, but it was causing me to lag behind my goals. I’ve read many writers advice that when you’re writing a draft, you shouldn’t go back and edit right away, but keep writing with your changes in mind. This wasn’t enough for me. I really had to revisit the entire story. It was disorienting for me to keep writing without addressing the issues from the parts I’d already written. It’s hard to build upon the story without knowing what events happened previously.