Remember that post where I ranted about how boring I’m finding my story? Well… I’m just here to say that the feeling hasn’t improved that much. But at least it’s gotten to a tolerable point where I can write down words for the sake of writing down words. I’ve impulsively signed up for Camp NaNoWriMo — possibly, in a manner just as impulsive as I did when signing up for the real deal back in November. So I’m employing every ounce of motivation, organization, self-discipline, and self-tricking into keeping up with the daily word counts.
That said, it still feels like a chore.
Two nights ago, I stumbled across one of my old fanfictions, a draft that I never finished. And it shocked me. Because the writing was so rich and so exciting and so full of voice and character, that I wondered how I could possibly have written it.
Looking back at my fanfictions, I realized that my writing style — no matter what genre my fanfiction happened to fall into — was so much richer than the way I’m writing now. And it’s an incredible shame that I’m able to write so well for other people’s creation, and yet my skills balk when I try to write my own original content.
Then this morning, I think I finally realized what was causing the difference: When I was writing fanfiction, I knew — and cared about — the characters.
I tried to remember all the time in the past when I had a burning desire to write a fanfic. It was because I had a very clear idea of a situation, or a very clear feeling about a character, and I wanted to express it. I have liked many books and shows in the past, but why is it that I write only for a select few fandoms? I think it’s because in order for me to write, I need to first develop a clear characterization of the characters. I have to know what it feels like to be in their shoes. I need to see them existing in a particular situation.
And there definitely have been times when I wanted to write a funny skit, but it wouldn’t work out, because I just couldn’t see the characters in it. Not with the way I envisioned their personality.
I keep talking about past fanfictions, but keep failing to point out to any examples. So here are a few.
BEWARE: The following might contain excessive teen angst or weirdness, poor grammar and spelling, and cheesy lines.