Some sketchdumps from the past few weeks. Here you see Sano, Anina, Aklin and Danihon. I’ll post more about them later.
I spent most of March refactoring my story. I did a little update about it in a previous post. However, I thought that by now with the new changes in mind, I would be even more excited to continue writing.
I couldn’t be more wrong.
I thought at first that I was just feeling burnt out after two weeks of intense school work with barely little rest. But last week, most of that activity died down as the deadlines passed, and I thought that it was a great time to get back to writing.
But I felt dead inside.
Heh, that’s of course a hyperbole, but every time I opened up my document (like I did just now actually), I would just not have the energy to write. My mind would go blank, even though I’ve already written a thorough outline of the upcoming chapter. It’s not even writer’s block, because I do know what to write — I’m a planner. I know what the characters have to do next, I can imagine them doing it in my head. I just don’t feel like physically writing down what I imagine.
It got to the point that two nights ago, I even thought about giving up on my story. I just found it hopeless. I felt like Gretchen from ‘Mean Girls’ trying so hard to make ‘fetch’ a thing, but nobody was picking it up. I found myself asking, “Would anyone even read a fantasy book set in precolonial Philippines?” I mean, if you think about it, if there was demand, there would definitely be supply. But I don’t see other writers writing this kind of story. And that might be a good thing in terms of originality (as pointed out by a wise friend on my Tumblr post), but it also feels like I’m trying to make people care about something they don’t want to think about. Especially something from the past that would never come back again. Why care about a lost culture?
I have very personal reasons why I’m writing a story set in a world inspired by precolonial Philippines, but I guess I just doubt that anyone would share the same interests.
Anyway, thanks to a few encouraging words from my friends, I’m able to get out of my doubting party.
That said, I still feel terribly bored about getting back to writing. So I did what any sensible person would do — google this problem. Because surely I’m not the first person to be bored of their story. And lo and behold! The first site that came up: http://thewritepractice.com/bust-boredom/. I think I’m going to try those tricks.
Oh… and I have another problem. I’ve been calling my story The Hero of Lore for a while now, and since the refactor, there really isn’t any hero, nor lore. I gotta think up of some new tentative label that would survive perhaps another refactor.